No I’m not angry at God, but…

It’s often asserted, in my experience usually by Christians of one sort or another, that atheists aren’t REALLY atheists, that we don’t REALLY not believe in a god or gods. It’s asserted that we are just angry at God, that we just want to sin, that we are just full of pride, and on and on ad nauseam, praise Jay-sus amen.

One atheist can only truly speak for himself in many (most) matters. I can’t say that other atheists agree with me on any particular point (other than the whole no-god thing, ‘cos that’s what the word atheist means). But let me assure anyone with ears to hear, that I do not believe that any gods (supernatural entities) exist outside of human culture and the human imagination. That means Thor, Zeus, Jesus, Ra, Quetzalcoatl, Bob Dobbs, and every other god I have ever come across gets put in the “that probably doesn’t really exist” box.

But I AM angry. I’m angry at Christianity, at its very existence, how it’s used, and on a personal level how it was used against one little boy (guess who).

I abhor all manner of authoritarianism and superstition and dogma and blind adherence to tradition. I’m not angry at the god of Christianity, again I highly highly doubt that it exists. But I have a special place set aside for Christianity, which is untrue, and for the god of Christianity because these things were used as threats against me and those I cared about. I despise Christianity for many things, not the least of which is the fact that it was used to terrorize me as a child.

Christianity, its god, and its Hell were used to scare me into accepting all sorts of propositions. If I hadn’t broken at the age of 14 from the small church I was attending I would still likely believe in a young world where men were made to rule over women, gay people were abominations, and any thought of sex was an affront to the grand king of the universe (even dancing was a no-no, I shit you not). I would base decisions about my family, my politics, who I associated with, what music I listened to, what clothes I wore, and on and on, upon my fear of I and everyone I cared for being cooked alive forever and ever…praise his holy name amen.

When a Christian tells me that their god is one of love and compassion I have the strong urge to simultaneously laugh out loud, scream, and vomit. The memory of the terror of the Christian god and his hell, and revulsion at that vile, twisted faith wash over me.

I remember lying awake at night frozen in fear of being taken to a mythological underworld by imaginary demons in my sleep. I remember walking to a corner of the family place where I grew up and secretly crying for my family who didn’t go to church with me and were certain to be sent to a fiery grave. Millions had experiences like mine, or much worse. Millions still do. For that, I despise Christianity.

The fact that Christianity is superstition and the Christian God doesn’t REALLY exist doesn’t help those who believe and REALLY fear him.

It’s really just too bad. It’s too bad that there is no eternal hell for the Christian god to be tossed into for eternity. He could take his book and his pig herd hating fig tree cursing son, and his ghost part, and his hatred for human beings with him.

He could take all of those who tell the young and the vulnerable that they were born unclean and unworthy and that they deserve never ending torment with him. All of those who tell the impressionable that a super-tyrant sees their thoughts, and has judged them dirty and depraved, all of these clergy and missionaries could be chained in the same pit to suffer the torments they threaten others with.

But there are no gods and there are no hells. There are only a few of us who stand up and point to the Christian god and openly call it a fat sack of superstition and lies. I do feel optimistic though that there are more and more of us everyday. And someday, to say that the Christian god and his hell don’t really exist will be to say what is generally accepted everywhere.

I strongly support freedom of belief, of opinion, and of expression. I will stand up for the right of people to believe in the god of Christianity or any other god. And I will speak out against those superstitions which have been used to torture so many for being who they are, for thinking what they might, for saying what they think and becoming who they might be.

Someday no child will lie awake at night fearing that ancient monster, his oh so righteous judgement, his dungeons, and his instruments of torture. I love that kid, good riddance to God.


4 thoughts on “No I’m not angry at God, but…

  1. I’m an atheist also, and I agree with your contention, but there are multiple issues with what I have read. They are Christians for the same reason we are atheists. That is to have something to believe in that created everything. For them it’s God, for us it may be scientific theory or no known knowledge of what to believe. I agree that the world would be a better place without Christianity, but I don’t have a hatred for Christians in general. Like all groups the ones to hate are the extremists. Those who are blinded by faith to see anything other than their own beliefs. But you and others are making the situation worse by trying to feed them the truth, like they did to you, therefore you are contradicting yourself. The best way to deal with those blinded by faith is to ignore their stupid beliefs. Block them completely out of your mind, because you know that you are right, but if it makes them happy and gives them something to believe in, let them be.

    Another issue is that you stated Jesus to be fake. Jesus was a real man, who was a preacher, and he was crucified by the Romans. What he preached was garbage, but he was alive. There are Roman records of Jesus’ turning over the tables of Jerusalem, as well as his crucifixion. Even other religions acknowledge his existence as a prophet, but not as “the messiah” or the “son of god”. And I happen to agree with them in that he was a prophet.


  2. Hi rockstarsteve, thanks for stopping by and commenting!

    I certainly don’t hate Christians, I know a lot of damned good ones. It is the tradition that I don’t like. I try always to attack positions not people. As with any opinion or group of opinions, I might find it awful but the person might be very decent.

    I don’t think ignoring religion helps. I think religion thrives when people remain silent and awed. I would have always thought I was all alone as a nonbeliever if nobody else would have spoken up at some point. I think as many of us as possible should speak out however and whenever we can to support others now and later.

    I didn’t mean to contend that there’s no possibility that there really was a person or persons who the New Testament stories are based upon (I’m not familiar with the Roman records of the turning over of the temple tables, any more info on that?). He or they may very well have existed, as sources of other gods may have existed as actual people. If they did exist though they were most likely just human beings, nothing more. My apologies if I implied otherwise. 🙂


  3. Hey! I dig the blog. Like rockstar steve, I’m a fellow atheist but I have one big point of disagreement. You say that you “abhor all manner of authoritarianism and superstition and dogma and blind adherence to tradition.” I agree with you on three out of the four, however, anti-dogmatic atheism has always struck me as self-contradictory.

    Dogma, as I’m sure you agree, is a belief/assumption/axiom that is accepted unquestioningly. (I only put out this definition so that we can decide if we are on the same page or not). I don’t say that atheists are dogmatic in the sense that we don’t believe in god, because most atheists don’t unquestioningly assert the non-existence of God. But generally, (again, this is not universal, because atheism takes many forms) atheists adhere to the doctrine that empiricism is the only way or the best way of knowing, and I don’t see much (any) critique of empiricism from atheists.

    I don’t think you can reasonably call yourself anti-dogmatic if you don’t question the merits of empiricism, but, haven’t read your blog entirely. I am curious to hear your thoughts on empiricism as an axiom of truth.


  4. Hi Doug, thanks for stopping by and commenting.

    I think that we best know the world through what I generally refer to as Freethought, a mix or process (depending on how organized one is, I’m often woefully disorganized) involving three philosophies which historically were often opposed to each other. They are empiricism (sensory observation, which you mentioned), rationalism (reasoning from observation) and skepticism (questioning our temporary conclusions). These three are I think the basis of critical thought and when used in science the scientific method.

    I think we need all three to work things out as best we can (and granted we are all only human and have limited knowledge, what we know won’t be perfect any time soon). Our observations can be wrong or mistaken, our reasoning can be wrong, and our skepticism can be misapplied. Each one helps correct the others.

    Personally I came to atheism (a long time ago) through an aggressive skepticism. Empiricism came after. I’m open to questioning the merits of empiricism but I can’t think of anything that could effectively replace it. The first thing that popped in my head was evidence through revelation, which doesn’t get us anywhere good.


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